A Poet's Past

I threw away a lot of writing that I did in middle school and high school. A lot of them were about boys, in which I thought every one of them was somehow the end of my life. Aside from the teenage drama, I suppose each boy I have dated was the end of life as I knew it and I praise God for it because by His grace I've become a better woman.  Anyways, here's a piece from high school. As I read it now I don't fully understand why I wrote it. I know I was in a dark place looking for light. There are two drafts and I guess in between the two I went through a change of heart, found some Light and rewrote the poem.

#1 A Little Closer To Heaven                                          #2 A Little Closer to Heaven
      
Today I climbed a mountain                                            Today my dreams soared     
So high you cannot see its top                                         So high you cannot see them
The higher I got, my problems blew away                      The higher they got the more they soared
Along with my loved ones too                                        And the more I hoped you'd be my loved one

If I could take someone with me                                    And I will take you with me
He would change the stars                                              You have changed the stars
And create the seas                                                         And created the seas
But he stands so far                                                        You stand so close to me
We are but two souls now                                               But I am still not yours

I come a little closer to heaven                                      I came a little closer to heaven
So alone and unaware                                                    So alone
As I look back and see him                                           As I look back I see you
Tears fill his eyes but joy consumes his heart               Tears fill your eyes but joy consumes your heart
His hamds stretch to catch me                                      Your hands stretch to catch me
But this time I will not fall                                            But by your side I will stand tall

If I could take someone with me                                  I will take you with me
He would change my heart                                          You have changed my heart
And create a smile                                                        And created my smile

But he cannot see it                                                      Though you cannot see it

We are two instead of one now                                    You are closer than ever

A white blanket comes in view                                    Your open arms come into view

I lay my head to rest                                                     And I embrace you forever

And slowly fade away                                                  Slowly I hold you tighter

Now I am a little bit closer to heaven                          Now I am a little bit closer to heaven

If I could put someone in my dreams                          You will always be in my dreams

He would make them come true                                  You will make them come true

And create my happy ending                                       And create my happy ending

But he's only a dream                                                  You're not only a dream

We are in two worlds now                                           You're my everything

Soon that day will come                                              Soon that day will come

For me to see                                                               For me to be

This great man, who made life livable                        With this man who made life livable

And dreams visible                                                      And dreams visible