Thailand Day 2: World-Changers

"But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.³ For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you.⁴ Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.⁵ Fear not, for I am with you..."

Isaiah 43:1-5

Two world-changers

I awoke on Sunday morning at 5:00 am after a night of tossing and turning and roach killing. I read the Bible and the book "Kisses from Katie", the story of Katie Davis and her journey with God from middle class Tennessee to the impoverished villages of Uganda, Africa. She went understanding and obeying the most important commandments. Matthew 22:37-39 “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ³⁸ This is the great and first commandment. ³⁹ And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself." She loved the people beyond language barriers, filth, disease, and sin. She formed relationship both in the natural and in the spiritual and was persistent in her communion with the Lord in every step of the way. In doing so she is one of many examples of a servant glorifying their adored Master.

We headed out after breakfast with bags of food in tow. With the humid air on our backs and the beauty of Thailand and its people before our eyes, we were ready to serve. We were ready to listen to those who felt that no one was hearing them. To care for the abandoned. To be the hands, the feet and the mouth of God. To love Him above all else and those we were about to encounter. We must have visited at least 10+ homes that day, all consisted of elderly couples and those that had been widowed. The stories were many some heartbreaking, some joyful. Here are a few of their stories, unfortunately their names I don't know because my memory is poor, so I apologize.


This couple as of last year were blind, they were paid for by a supporter/team member of Shepherd's Staff to have surgery to improve their vision. The man told her that if God restored his vision he would believe. His vision was partially restored along with his wife's vision as well. According to the team he was in higher spirits than the year before which was encouraging but he still struggled with inner demons. He struggled from depression. He had frustration with the fact that his family did not come to visit him and his wife anymore. He never mentioned anything about accepting Christ, however we are hopeful. We ended our time praying over them and their house, that it would be filled and evident that the Spirit of God was near speaking things that Isaiah 43:1-5 spoke of to the Israelites and was now being spoken into this couple's weary and broken hearts. That was my prayer.

The visit was with another woman who had no husband and had recently lost her son to suicide this summer. She talked about her pain for the longest time. As if no one had asked her until this moment. She choked back tears in an effort to attain a strong composure. What she needed was a good cry a strong hug and The Comforter. We ended our time by praying for her as well. 

Pastor's granddaughter, followed us everywhere

Another couple that we visited were some of Shepherd's Staff's favorites. The team had dinner with them the year before. They are believers who live with their son and granddaughter. Their son struggles with drugs, which causes them pain. Their granddaughter is finishing up high school and desires to go to college afterwards if she has the funds to do so, which is not likely. Their granddaughter was gorgeous and they were so proud of her. She has blessed them by living with them, which from what I could see, not many her age stick around. All of us girls were drawn to her quiet and gentle spirit and were encouraged by her presence in the couple's home. We prayed over them and over her. A few of us expressed interest in supporting her through college since it wasn't that much in American dollars. My heart hopes to see her again someday! I don't have a picture of them unfortunately because of that sweet girl to the left. She took my camera and proceeded to take a bunch of blurred pictures until my batteries died. One minute you're like the plague to them the next their jumping up and down with your camera in hand and swinging from your arms. What joy!

This is solely what our day consisted of, which made me more than happy! Hearing people is what I love to do the most because being heard is apart of my own testimony as well. Being caught in darkness no matter what form it takes, is still darkness. And there is no darkness that the Light of the World can't penetrate. People are searching for that Light even if their unsure of what to do with Him when they find the Light. I believe they just want to know that there is a Light out there to break their darkness. People are dying to know the Savior like the one in Isaiah 43. And if we in Shepherd's Staff as God's servants can do that for one person at a time, that's enough. Enough for all the heavens and those on earth to rejoice! 

Elder we visited; I laugh just seeing his smile

   "People who really want to make a difference in the world usually do it, in one way or another. And I've noticed something about the people who make a difference in the world: They hold the unspeakable conviction that individuals are extremely important, that every life matters. They get excited over one smile. They are willing to feed one stomach, educate one mind and treat one wound. They aren't determined to revolutionize the world all at once; they're satisfied with small changes. Over time the small changes add up. Sometimes they even transform cities and nations, and yes, the world.
    People who want to make a difference get frustrated along the way. But if they have a particularly stressful day, they don't quit. They keep going. Given their accomplishments, most of them are shockingly normal and the way they spend each day can be quite mundane. They don't teach grand lessons that suddenly enlighten entire communities; they teach small lessons that can bring incremental improvement to one man or woman, boy or girl. They don't do anything to call attention to themselves, they pay attention to the everyday needs of others, even if it's only one person. They bring change in most ways most people will never read about or applaud. And because of the way these world-changers are wired, they wouldn't think of living their lives any other way." 

Boomer Sooner

Extra hot standing in a rice field

               -Kiss from Katie (Forward by Beth


Even in the ordinary we are extraordinary because of Christ Jesus. We go from weakness that is turned into life changing strength when we give our testimonies over to God to be used. We are in the world but not of the world and it enables us to be world-changers not just in the physical but in the spiritual which translates into eternity. No one could ever convince me that any other life is better without Jesus Christ. Amen. 







www.shepherdsstaffco.com
http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

Thailand Day 1

¹⁷This happened because Abraham believed in the God who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing. 
¹⁸ Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping—believing that he would become the father of many nations.
²⁰ Abraham never wavered in believing God’s promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. ²¹ He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises. ²² And because of Abraham’s faith, God counted him as righteous.
Romans 4:17-18;20-21

I begin my blogs on Thailand with this verse because I believe that God specifically gave it to me for the people that we were privileged to encounter this week. He also gave it to me as a promise for the future of these people, that He would bring the dead back to life and create new things out of nothing. Amen.

After a long 35+ hour travel time from Oklahoma City to Chiang Mai,Thailand, we finally arrived. As we stepped out of the airport we were met with smiling faces. Com Sin*, an animated Pastor in Chiang Mai, clearly given the heart of a servant. He loves the Lord and the people of Thailand. He loves us and we love him back! Then there is Be Paw*, Shepherd's Staff hires him to drive us through the mountains narrow roads and he does so with great care. He owns several orphanages throughout Thailand and his heart and smile wrap themselves around you the instant you meet him. His favorite expression is "Don't worry, be happy!" I immediately felt content in their presence, as if they were long lost family I'd always wanted to meet. After we had a good supper, good nights rest and a "venti" Starbucks (it was a grande by American standards) we were off to Chiang Dao!

Chiang Dao is where the children that Shepherd's Staff sponsors go to school and learn about God and His Word. The school is bit more challenging than their regular Thai school but the kids are doing well. Even still Shepherd's Staff's goal is simply to just give them the opportunity to go to school learn about God, pursue higher education if they desire and develop spiritual leaders. While we were there we brought supplies to make bracelets with the children. They all enjoyed it so much many made 3 or more. It was a good break from the norm and a good chance to catch up with them. Many of them missed home but enjoyed school from what we gathered in conversation with them. I talked with the teacher in her broken English, she was a dear woman. She loved the Lord and the children she taught and I was honored to talk to her and know she was the teacher of our kids.

This was the teacher, she was so sweet

The kids after making bracelets

After making bracelets we headed for the village in Muang Khong. We drove through winding mountains surrounded by towering jungle trees and vine covered floors.Various leaves and vines draped over a mess of branches all along the winding road. The jungle is literally chaos but because of it's chaos it brings beauty that's distinctive among God's work in the world. The jungle fools any non native from seeing the plunging cliffs that surround them. The mountains of Thailand left me even more mesmerized than any mountain valleys I'd ever seen in Colorado. The villages are tucked just inside the forest, with a combination of tree houses and homes resting on the ground, put together by the strength of bamboo wood cut and shaped to different sizes to mold the place they called home.  Metal roofs covered them in a fight to keep out the heavy rains they frequently encountered. We watched as the shy Qiran people peered from doorways and shop openings, curious to see the foreign but familiar visitors. 
Our team (Adam, Kyle, Chelsea, Brandy(sister) and myself) finally reached our destination, Grandma and Grandpa's house (Peepee and Poopoo in Qiran). Grandma is thin, skin covering her bones but she's got a strong soul. With grey hair as symbol of her wisdom wrapped in a dirty towel to protect from the sun. She carries around a long stick to hit all the stray dogs that try to make a shelter out of her home. Grandpa is also a frail old man, walks with an arch in his back. Sweet Grandpa, coolest old man I know, with tribal tattoos all over his arms and women too (jk, kinda). It's so easy for the two of them to ease their way into your heart. You literally want put em in your pocket and take them home with you.

We didn't do a lot the first day. Most of it was taking in the surroundings. However we stayed at the "resort" just down the hill. After hearing horror stories of large insects and my favorite, cockroaches, I was nervous to open the door. When we got in I probably stood in the room for 10 minutes just looking, praying...crying inside. We, and by we, I mean my roommate Chelsea, slept with the light on every night for fear of what would come in in the dark. Chelsea also woke me up telling me there was a cockroach in the bathroom and that she needed help killing it. I was tired and was not ready to face the roach so I told her to leave it. I got up later and as I went to the bathroom, I stared at it. It must have known cause its antenna began to move. I grabbed bug spray and smashed it to bits with Chelsea's shoe! I slept well. With confidence; that was our only major bug encounter. God spoils me, constantly through small things like that but it's significant to me!

Chelsea taking a picture and getting a nice butt grab

The boys however, were not as lucky, they faced a spider the size of a small kitten, I think I laughed to keep from crying when I saw the picture they took. 


Anyways that was day one!
 

I Know Him

Isaiah 60:1-2
Arise, shine, for your light has come and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. For behold darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness the peoples; but the Lord will arise upon you and his glory will be see upon you.

Two weeks ago I fell apart. Collapsing under a pool of negative thinking and burdens that I could not bear. I wanted to be done, I was tired. We've all experienced those times and they will come back in all the time that we are being transformed. About a week later, as I pushed to hear the Lord, pushed to feel the Lord, I finally realized what I had to do. I simply had to cry out and say," I need Your help!" With every last drop of faith I cried out those words, little did I know how much love, grace and provision would overwhelm me.

As I had mentioned before, funds for Thailand had fell through and I was very upset. I'd almost backed out completely knowing that money would've had to be paid either way. Even though my actions did not show my faith, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the Father and that He would never leave or forsake His children in any situation. That was key, that I know the Father, I know His character and that's all I needed in order to believe.

I missed Sunday church that weekend but went this last weekend. We sat down after amazing worship; it was the first time in awhile that I really felt the Holy Spirit and worshipped in rest and peace, talking to Him and hearing Him speak. That would have been enough. As we sat down and were about to take offering the Pastor called on anyone who was having financial problems to stand up. My heart dropped and I did not want to stand but my pride had controlled me for too long and dug me into my pit. I stood. They prayed and announced that if anyone felt led to give money they could do so after service. I cried. I had been broken, my pride had suffered in the best way possible. I sat down hoping that they would forget me, such a silly wish, God does not forget.

As we closed out the service, the Pastor asked once again that those who stood wave their hands so that people could bless them. Ugh, another blow to my pride but as soon as my hand came down a man passed by me slipping money into my hand. In seconds another had come, and another and another, until my pockets were full. I felt nothing but utter humility. They did not know, nor did they ask what I needed it for. They did not question nor did they hesitate. So that is what the body looks like, a people who run after God sharing in the experience, joy and provision together. God so loves His bride.

I am learning the words "Help Jesus!" is the only prayer I need in any and all situations. In a world where independence is glorified and encouraged, God looks to destroy it. Some of us are forced to be independent because we have felt abandoned by family or friends or the church. God has not abandoned, He is asking that you be dependent on Him because in the end he alone sustains us!

"Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee"(Pslam 73:25)

Please Pray:
For our upcoming trip to Thailand that the Word and Holy Spirit would come to them in Power
For the breaking of strongholds and bondage to the burdens that weigh heavy on us so as to keep us from our full potential here on Earth.
For His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven

Three Cheers for the Low in Life

This week, in my opinion has been a bad one. For many reasons but I should have known God was preparing me for this time. It started several months ago, the Lord was calling me up to a higher place with Him. This calling was fairly doable, He was showing me that my lack of commitment was not who I was. It's not not the person that He saw me as. I said okay, we can work on that, no problem. As the months continued I didn't take into account that someone else would like to have a say in telling me who I am, Satan. Yea, I know, I hate the mention of him but I forget that he has a plan for my life too and when God is calling me or anyone to a higher place and into my/your calling he's gonna be right one your heels.

My lack of commitment became more apparent over time, I've come to a place of negativity because one, I didn't realize how bad it was and two, I get disappointed when I feel that I have failed God. I have not responded well to this time when God is bringing out the negative in order to make me shine brighter for His kingdom. I even reached a point of wanting to give up, tap out, be done. However, I was driving home last night and I heard Him, I heard Him say, "I have made a heart in you that will always love me and so you never have to worry because I will always think that you're love for me is perfect." My heart melted.

I have a sweet man in my life who has demonstrated to me what love is, I cannot even comprehend this human love, how much more do I  not understand the love that God has for His creation. I see this picture of what I thought God's love was, a love that I was able to hold in my hands and understand and it's light and fun and fluffy and cute. No I was wrong,  it's not a love I or you can hold, in fact it's so heavy it would utterly crush us. It's a furious love that would and should scare us. An unpredictable, unimaginable love that can't be shown by one single being on this earth. It's not a love that's written and read in books or shown on theatre screens, that's petty and small compared to His love. It'll take an eternity to grasp His love.

Amazing!

This time of trial is not over in my life, I don't know the end. I have reached a place where I literally can do nothing. I, who pride myself on independence have been brought to my knees in utter humility and dependence.

I'm supposed to go to Thailand, however some issues with finances has left that to the unknown, but God knows. Going home in August doesn't seem possible either, but it will be because God CARES! There are so many things that I want to be angry about and I want to be disappointed in but He makes it entirely impossible!

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us and because he has given us that Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love. Romans 5:3-5

It's so important to know who we are in Christ, God continually reminds me of my position in His kingdom, especially when I have an enemy trying to take that away from me. On a day when I felt my spirit collapsing God reminded me that he's not done loving me. He gave me a niece, a life. He gave me a love, when it was undeserved. Love my God!

1 Corinthians 4:8-10 We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are never crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.
       

I Have a Dad

I have a dad and today is his day. Today 60 years ago,he was born for a purpose. My dad has an awesome testimony, like an Israelite he's wrestled with the Lord for a part of his life. He's wrestled for many reasons that I still don't know but what really matters is that 60 years later he has made the Lord his love. My dad is a huge lover, he would smother me with kisses when I was little. I have now, along with the 10 grand children he has, grown to hate all mustaches. My dad and I have been through a lot together. It is true when they say the best things are worth fighting for.

Many don't have the privilege of saying they have a father, or one who is there at least. When my dad fell short, as humans do, I had God to remind me that I still needed my dad in all his forms. Through all his forms, falls, and victories my father persevered. He pushed to love his family better than the day before. My dad pushed to know the Father, the God, that had carried him and his family and loved him through all his seasons.

Like I said earlier, my dad was born for a purpose. My father has been a Spanish teacher for hundreds of years, just kidding! But for a good chunk of time. Students have always liked him and his sarcastic jokes that made up for his tough classes. Whether people had him as a student or they just met him in passing, they've always left with a smile on their faces. My dad can strike up a conversation with just about anyone. Usually, if I was around, the conversation would spark because of a joke he'd made up about me, yea glad I could help. I remember being on ski lifts, timid and quiet. Not my dad, he had to talk to everyone, it was cool....I guess ;). Also if anyone remotely looked like they could speak Spanish he would go up and start talking to them as if they were his long lost brother from Mexico. I would sit there and role my eyes like any teenage girl.

My dad has hospitality. He loves to cook Mexican food or anything else that comes fried and with the label "unhealthy," this is one of many running jokes between him and I. It was always easy to have my friends with dad around. My friends would always look at the both of us and tell us that we did not look alike. He would then say that I didn't get his good looks or something along those lines, oh brother haha!

My dad is vulnerable. This is something that he's had to learn, just as I am trying to learn. Through his transparency I have found the Lord in ways I never expected. It has also helped me in my current relationship. My father has encouraged me and shared insight with me in this area that is precious to me. His words have given me peace in areas that were restless.

My dad is a son. He belongs to the Lord and God is proud to have him. Through the 22 years I have known my dad, the Lord never stopped pursuing Him. God had and still has a purpose for this 60 year old man. God's instilled wisdom and love that has and will touch more lives than my father is aware of. God delights in my father and his love for Him.

My dad was made for His glory. Happy Birthday dad! 

Reflections on His Love

I am one week away from completing my junior year here at the University of Oklahoma. Although I should be writing a final paper right now, I instead find myself exploring pages and pages of friends and their blogs and pictures. If you haven't caught on, I am very ready to be out of school and procrastinating is my best expression for that feeling. This year was a good one. It was full of challenge filled with both pain and happiness.
We'll begin with the fact that I did indeed go to Morocco last year. It's simply way more beautiful than I ever imagined. From desert to ocean then city to the mountains, it has it all. A month there was just the right time before I was ready to come home. Home to the people that I could understand, that I found that I loved more than I realized. But as I came home and settled in, I was settling into an uneasiness. I had not left with a feeling that the Lord was calling me back to there or any part of the Arab world. I found the culture rich and enticing, a sight that my eyes will never let go of. However, I came home with a feeling of confusion and frustration. I did not love the people as I felt the Lord would want me too.
This was important to me because I strive to walk as much in the Lords foot steps as I know how too. However, I find often that I can be very far away from His foot prints and instead still find I am in my own.I don't always know how to love like the Lord does. And though I try to pour out what I have it's not like His living water, refreshing and satisfying. Mine is filled with selfish impurities and it can sometimes leave a bitter taste in someone's mouth. I don't want to give a people, a country or a cause my love but the Lords because it is truly good.
What I'm getting at, is that people always talk about being good people, and I consider myself a "good person." Yet I go through seasons where I step out of my own skin and I look at myself and I don't recognize the woman I see. She's a woman whose love does not freely flow, it is conditional. Her love only fits those that she deems "worthy." To those who aren't worthy, she moves past them as if she never saw them. That's who I see sometimes, and I think, "Where's Jesus Ariana?" As a human being I am prone to wander, away from the Savior that bore, any and all pain and temptation that I have ever felt. And the pain of those whom I have loved and will love and the world that I hope to love.
At this moment as a college student I have become consumed with studying, social events, career aspirations and materials of this world. This all has left little room for my time with the Lord and getting to know His love. I do go to church, however if I'm too busy it's the first off my list. I think well it's okay cause God can handle one or two Sunday mornings. That is true, God can handle that but what I don't realize is that I can't handle it. I cannot miss a minute without Him. Life with Him left behind is like "Lost", yes the television show. It's like you think you know where you're going but then before you know it, you've crashed on an island, with people you don't know and events that don't make sense and there's a black cloud that lurks the jungle, a polar bear and a French sniper all in the same place. Sorry if you have never seen "Lost" because then you wouldn't understand, but in short its bizarre and strange and all you wanna do is get back to home---Him.
The funny thing is, is that God can be bizarre. A year ago I wanted to travel the world and now the only place I can see myself right now is America and that's only because I live here. I'm switching my focus from the Middle East to Latin America and in the mean time I'm going to Thailand this summer. So the ironic thing in all of this is I am lost, with God. It's not exactly fun or comfortable. It's exciting at times and then other times I break down and cry wondering if I'm just completely missing my purpose with Him. Nevertheless, in this place I find His love. The love I hope to be a vessel of for the world, no matter what country I'm in or circumstance I come against. His love is worth more than life!
His love has given me amazing friends, women who lead me. A beautiful family and a great guy. It's given me the knowledge to write papers and the push to end the semester well. The funds to go to Thailand, the job I'd been hoping for. His love gives me identity and affirmation. It gives me peace in the path I can't see, and the future I don't know. His love is all I need, it is more than enough for this moment and I can't miss a moment without Him.

Verses to Memorize: Romans 8:38-39; John 14:12-14; Isaiah 55:8-9
Nothing can sparate me from His love
Ask for anything in His name and He will do it!
His thoughts are above my thoughts and His plans above my plans!

-Ari