Finding My Trumpet

Yesterday Khalil and I met up to go over the trip to prepare and to hear what the Lord has put on our hearts for this trip, since we have submitted every step to Him. Although what it really feels like is being a red headed step child dropped off in a foreign country with your hands tied behind your back, not knowing the language, and Dad telling you good luck, seeing how you'll turn out. Exaggeration, yes. BUT I am alone with God, which honestly is not what I expected. I will have Khalil but seeing as we have to be at a certain distance most of the time, I'm really going to have to break through my skin and be in a vulnerable place among a people I've never known. PTL! Moving on...

He asked that I read Isaiah 58 which discusses the topic of fasting, since fasting has been a significant part of preparing for the trip. After thoroughly reading through all of 58 we focused on verse 1:
“Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast.
      Shout aloud! Don’t be timid.
   Tell my people Israel of their sins!"
He asked me what the sound of a trumpet makes.....sometimes it's hard to answer questions that I know we know the answer too. Well to make it worse he asked that I make the sound of a trumpet, not in one of my "I don't care what you think moods" I had to turn the switch on, blow my trumpet and move on from slight embarrassment. But of course he is a very good teacher and good teachers interact, push and sometimes put you in uncomfortable situations. He then asked what's the difference between Louie Armstrong's trumpet and the sound of a Royal Trumpet (at least that's the sound I made, very royal I might add). I thought well I'd rather listen to Louie's trumpet then my own for instance  because I think it is a tad more beautiful. Well at this point we started touching on something very interesting.

Many people are blowing some sort of trumpet, some sound beautiful but you realize after time certain keys are off or don't work. Others play it differently, some are ugly and others you find are beautiful. If I were to take verse one without reading the rest I would probably think, " Ok God so you want me to go tell people their sins, very loudly!" But first off, that's not the trumpet I blow and that's the not the sort of thing the people of Morocco will find particularly beautiful and I agree. If you continue to read the verse God talks about the sort of sound He is searching for:
Summary: Free the oppressed, lighten the burdens of the workers around you, feed the hungry, cloth the needy. Seek Me and you're light will shine through the darkness and you will be known as the restorer."
In relationship with the one true God one finds this trumpet that God's speaks of. It flows a melody of love, grace, servitude and faith. We are going to Morocco to love the people, to listen to the people. This was something that God has spoken to Khalil and I individually.

Tuesday- Travel all day Wednesday- 13 hours in Portugal-Arrive in Casablanca at 11:30 drive and hour and half back to Kenitra(home) Thursday- Drive 14 hours South to meet with a Moroccan seeking to plant a Christian church for the people(unheard of). Saturday- Sahara Desert

I will blog when I can but I have been encouraged to journal more. Things on my heart: to be shrewd and discerning to the voice of God. Spending time with Him in the moment and the culture. Stepping out of my timidity and forming relationships that will reveal His love and draw them near to Him.
Things on my brain: Ride a Camel!!!!!!!!

Alas, we talk about finding the perfect person in order to love him. Christianity teaches us that the perfect person is one who limitlessly loves the person he sees. We humans always look upward for the perfect object but in Christ love looks down to earth and loves the person it sees. If then, you wish to become perfect in love, strive to love the person you see, just as you see him, with all his imperfections and weaknesses. Love him as you see him when he is utterly changed, when he no longer loves you, when he perhaps turns indifferently away or turns to love someone else. Love him as you see him when he betrays and denies you. Love the person you see and see the person you love.
- Soren Kirekegaard

Clinquant

 On a side note. My last post about the glue sniffers, well I didn't know this but it turns out we will be working with some of these boys at a shelter in Morocco. They are wanting to build a skate park for these boys to have a better outlet. If there is anyone that you know that can show us how to build/design a skate park that would be wonderful! Or if you have a video that you could send please do!!

Clinquant: glittering; tinsel-like; tinsel

Ever since I was young I have wanted to be a missionary. Some want to be movie stars, singers, or fashion designers, etc, to them that is that glamorous life. I always thought being a missionary was the "glamorous" life when I was young. To travel the world and get to know many people and cultures, to actually experience and not just speak of these foreign lands. Although, I am seeing more and more it's not as glamorous as I imagined, the road requires a lot of discipline I have never had, much humility that I never imagined I would experience in my life and more sacrifice than my flesh is willing to give.


To say it simply, America is known for its affluence and I feel as though that's been God's challenge for me lately. I have recently read a book called Kaffir Boy, by Mark Mathabane. At the age of seven his father was arrested for unemployment and sent to work  on a farm for free for about a year. His family had no means of income at that point and living in the slums their neighbors helped as much as they could. After some time, him and his younger siblings dug in garbage for their meals and possessions. Mark began to have hallucinations and fainting spells from malnutrition. I thought, there's not a day I don't go without a meal, or sleep without a roof over my head.Yet I still want more. I see those who go shopping for this occasion or just cause it sounds like fun. Those who buy, the always expensive, organic food to keep a healthy body. Spend 20 bucks on dinner and movie. I mean I did that, now I just don't have the money to do that but regardless my flesh wants.

So I thought that this word was appropriate because all these things are not bad but according to Christ its clinquant, the decoration of our lives given by Him. Not just to bless us but so that we can learn to give and spread it to those all over the world who may not have been blessed like this. God...He could do it but He's asking us too. He's been staring me in the face for about 6 months asking me, "How bad do you really want Me? Are you willing to give up this clinquant: shopping, a husband and family, house, car to fulfill my heart? To go into all the world and speak my name, all the while radically depending upon Me, are you ready?"
            -And I just stare back, my mind in a frenzy, because to be honest, I-don't-know.  I mumble(cause I do that a lot), " You see Jesus, I never thought this life I wanted with You would actually lead to dying to myself, I just thought it was a good idea you threw out in the bible." "Or I never thought denying myself looked like this, I thought that still guaranteed my "American dream" too."

Since this trip this has been my struggle, this is my prayer, to obey and follow Christ at all costs and to sever all ties and plans that will hold me back from that. To live in the most abundant country, finish college and all the while challenging myself on how I can live radically for Him here. My brothers and sisters across seas risk their lives for Him everyday because they think He's worth their life. I feel like it's time I start showing Him the same.

Psalm 119:36-37 (emphasis added)
"Give me an eagerness for your decrees; do not inflict me with love for money! Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word."
                                                   2 Samuel 8:10-11
                                                              David was presented with many gifts of silver, gold and
                                                                   bronze. King David dedicated all these gifts to the Lord
  

“Romero’s Prayer: Oscar Romero
It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view.
The kingdom of God is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision.
We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work. Nothing we do is complete, which is a way of saying——that the kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement say’s all that could be said. No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection. No pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the churches mission. No set goals and objectives includes everything.
This is what we are about. We plant seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities.
We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something, and do it well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord’s grace to enter and do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders; ministers not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.
Amen.”

Autodidact

Autodidact: One who is self taught.
Most everyone desires to travel the world. Some never do, others vacation here and there but there are some that seem to have really made trekking across countries look easy. My brother has a friend who finished college in Thailand and has been all over Asia ever since. A single female who learned the language of the people and their customs. Last I had heard of her, she was living in Nepal caring for 6 homeless boys who left home at ages 4-5 because their family’s couldn’t support them. They delved into drugs at about 5 or 6 years old “sniffing glue” which can be any sort of toxins. This drug is cheaper than illegal drugs and is an epidemic all over the world from Kenya, Pakistan, Nepal, and Morocco. She takes care of these boys on her own, going about various jobs, such as cutting prostitutes hair; writing and producing a Bollywood film; teaching. She’s a self taught woman helping the world.
This trip started out with Khalil inviting me to his home within the first conversation of knowing each other. Knowing how to raise money, send out support letters, figuring out what the plans would be once we got out there seemed like a mountain of anxiety. I never imagined that my first mission trip would be on my own.However, I decided, this is how I really wanted it. To be a woman that solely relied on God to open her doors and overcome her obstacles. To comfort her through the fears and uncertainties. To ultimately allow Him to cross my path with those I was to help out, get to know, listen too, eat with, sit with, pray for and love. In hopes that I may adopt someone of my own someday, however that may look because I have been adopted.