Three Cheers for the Low in Life

This week, in my opinion has been a bad one. For many reasons but I should have known God was preparing me for this time. It started several months ago, the Lord was calling me up to a higher place with Him. This calling was fairly doable, He was showing me that my lack of commitment was not who I was. It's not not the person that He saw me as. I said okay, we can work on that, no problem. As the months continued I didn't take into account that someone else would like to have a say in telling me who I am, Satan. Yea, I know, I hate the mention of him but I forget that he has a plan for my life too and when God is calling me or anyone to a higher place and into my/your calling he's gonna be right one your heels.

My lack of commitment became more apparent over time, I've come to a place of negativity because one, I didn't realize how bad it was and two, I get disappointed when I feel that I have failed God. I have not responded well to this time when God is bringing out the negative in order to make me shine brighter for His kingdom. I even reached a point of wanting to give up, tap out, be done. However, I was driving home last night and I heard Him, I heard Him say, "I have made a heart in you that will always love me and so you never have to worry because I will always think that you're love for me is perfect." My heart melted.

I have a sweet man in my life who has demonstrated to me what love is, I cannot even comprehend this human love, how much more do I  not understand the love that God has for His creation. I see this picture of what I thought God's love was, a love that I was able to hold in my hands and understand and it's light and fun and fluffy and cute. No I was wrong,  it's not a love I or you can hold, in fact it's so heavy it would utterly crush us. It's a furious love that would and should scare us. An unpredictable, unimaginable love that can't be shown by one single being on this earth. It's not a love that's written and read in books or shown on theatre screens, that's petty and small compared to His love. It'll take an eternity to grasp His love.

Amazing!

This time of trial is not over in my life, I don't know the end. I have reached a place where I literally can do nothing. I, who pride myself on independence have been brought to my knees in utter humility and dependence.

I'm supposed to go to Thailand, however some issues with finances has left that to the unknown, but God knows. Going home in August doesn't seem possible either, but it will be because God CARES! There are so many things that I want to be angry about and I want to be disappointed in but He makes it entirely impossible!

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us and because he has given us that Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love. Romans 5:3-5

It's so important to know who we are in Christ, God continually reminds me of my position in His kingdom, especially when I have an enemy trying to take that away from me. On a day when I felt my spirit collapsing God reminded me that he's not done loving me. He gave me a niece, a life. He gave me a love, when it was undeserved. Love my God!

1 Corinthians 4:8-10 We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are never crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.
       

I Have a Dad

I have a dad and today is his day. Today 60 years ago,he was born for a purpose. My dad has an awesome testimony, like an Israelite he's wrestled with the Lord for a part of his life. He's wrestled for many reasons that I still don't know but what really matters is that 60 years later he has made the Lord his love. My dad is a huge lover, he would smother me with kisses when I was little. I have now, along with the 10 grand children he has, grown to hate all mustaches. My dad and I have been through a lot together. It is true when they say the best things are worth fighting for.

Many don't have the privilege of saying they have a father, or one who is there at least. When my dad fell short, as humans do, I had God to remind me that I still needed my dad in all his forms. Through all his forms, falls, and victories my father persevered. He pushed to love his family better than the day before. My dad pushed to know the Father, the God, that had carried him and his family and loved him through all his seasons.

Like I said earlier, my dad was born for a purpose. My father has been a Spanish teacher for hundreds of years, just kidding! But for a good chunk of time. Students have always liked him and his sarcastic jokes that made up for his tough classes. Whether people had him as a student or they just met him in passing, they've always left with a smile on their faces. My dad can strike up a conversation with just about anyone. Usually, if I was around, the conversation would spark because of a joke he'd made up about me, yea glad I could help. I remember being on ski lifts, timid and quiet. Not my dad, he had to talk to everyone, it was cool....I guess ;). Also if anyone remotely looked like they could speak Spanish he would go up and start talking to them as if they were his long lost brother from Mexico. I would sit there and role my eyes like any teenage girl.

My dad has hospitality. He loves to cook Mexican food or anything else that comes fried and with the label "unhealthy," this is one of many running jokes between him and I. It was always easy to have my friends with dad around. My friends would always look at the both of us and tell us that we did not look alike. He would then say that I didn't get his good looks or something along those lines, oh brother haha!

My dad is vulnerable. This is something that he's had to learn, just as I am trying to learn. Through his transparency I have found the Lord in ways I never expected. It has also helped me in my current relationship. My father has encouraged me and shared insight with me in this area that is precious to me. His words have given me peace in areas that were restless.

My dad is a son. He belongs to the Lord and God is proud to have him. Through the 22 years I have known my dad, the Lord never stopped pursuing Him. God had and still has a purpose for this 60 year old man. God's instilled wisdom and love that has and will touch more lives than my father is aware of. God delights in my father and his love for Him.

My dad was made for His glory. Happy Birthday dad!